Monday, March 28, 2011

Family Vacation

It is spring break. We are at a fabulous tropical resort......balmy breeze, watching another beautiful sunset into the ocean, as we wait for dinner.
Families are all emerging, freshly showered after another lazy day at the beach.
The little boys were all dressed the same. khaki shorts, light blue button downs, belts and smoothed combed hair. The little girls, equally as groomed, precious in their blue and white striped seersucker dresses and mary janes, adorable hair combed to the side complete with a matching bow. If that weren’t enough, the Dad then walks by dressed identically to the little boys. So beautiful, all heads turned. The mom in coordinating color as well. The picture perfect family. Photos were taken - a snapshot of time to be remembered and treasured.
Oh those sweet days.....all parents can relate.
After the photos were completed, the children were then handed over to the sitter and the parents went their separate way - AGAIN. In fact, this was about the only time we actually saw the family all together. We saw a lot of the parents, just not with their children. The childcare seemed to be the most bustling place at the resort, and it looked excellent i might add, the sitters always appeared to be engaged with the children.
I am not saying a break now and then on a family vacation isn’t perhaps sometimes needed. But the key word is FAMILY vacation.
Something to think about.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Balance

We as a family have come off of an incredibly exciting couple of weeks. Our high school daughter was the lead in her school musical. And then two weeks later out middle school son was the lead in his. To call this a blessing is a huge understatement. And this is the second year in a row that this has happened!
These are our favorite weekends - special beyond words.....no plans except to see the plays, share these moments with out family and friends. The letdown when both musicals were over was huge. Time slows in a way, yet is over much to fast.
So yes, i guess one would say our children are achievers despite the fact that they have grown up differently than many of their friends. . They get good grades, play sports and are musical as well, and i am guessing they must be talented beyond just my prejudiced mom thoughts as is evidenced by the roles they both achieved.
We believe there are alternate ways to empower our children other than endless lessons and overscheduling. Our children have activities. But they also have downtime, family time and a limit on their screen time. We still play board games, go on family outings and as you know, have frequent family dinners. Not as often as we used to, of course, but these rituals are still part of our fabric. Balance. Space to allow them to fall and learn and grow. To just “be” and not have every moment scheduled.
My husband and i have taken this “job” of rearing our children seriously. We have given our family the gift of time, both quantity AND quality.
It is really amazing and gratifying to see these seeds we have planted sprout and grow.....when children are little, you have no idea where these seeds you have planted and cultivated will lead your children. It is awesome to experience this now as they get older.
Enjoy!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Slow Down

I often feel like an alien.
I believe hugely in downtime, family time including meals together most nights. My kids have not grown up with cable TV(gasp, right?), their phones are left in our mudroom when they walk in the door and thus they actually make and receive calls on our landline. They spend a lot of time outside and we often still take family walks around the block. Screen time is limited...all are avid readers as a result. I am also a huge believer in being healthy and that includes sleep and lots of it! However, I also believe in them getting good grades, being involved in activities and sports as well as in our temple. Yes of course there are times where they have homework overload - or an extracurricular activity takes over for a time. The key for us is BALANCE. And for the most part, i feel we have achieved just that.
My husband and i went to a showing last week of a film called Race To Nowhere. To say it was powerful and quite disturbing, would be an understatement. While watching the film, i turned to my husband and said, I am not an alien.
If you have not heard of it, it is a documentary about our country’s children....the stress they are under to get into colleges, how over scheduled between constant homework and activities. No downtime or time just to play and be creative. Most are involved in sports, community service, music in some form while at the same time, are expected to maintain perfect grades. . It is often not enough to excel in just one area. What often begins as an interest becomes a barrage of lessons so the child can be the “best.” These interests are then no longer enjoyable. The film exhibits interview of parents, teachers and kids.....raw honest and compelling.
I urge you to see this movie, share it with your friends and live it in your own home. Let’s allow our children to be children and not burn them out before they reach adulthood.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Travel!!!

My children are 3, 7 and 9. We are traveling to Banff, Canada....a place a great distance from our mid-western home and one many with young children would never even attempt. Was it a long travel? Yes! Did everything go smoothly? Of course there were some bumps along the way. However, this and our many other travels have taught my children priceless life lessons....not only about the many wonderful places there are in this big beautiful world, different cultures, different languages, foods and more. There are other lessons just as important, such as patience, flexibility and that the hassle of travel is the price one pays sometimes for the amazing experiences and memories that we have amassed. A small price they have all concluded. Learning how to deal when things occur that they cannot control....a life lesson we can all use!
Travel does not always have to be to far away places. There are many places within driving distance or in your own backyard. Take the kids to the art museum. musicals, zoos, concerts, exhibits, restaurants, sporting events, movies, ice skating, bowling or whatever. The point is to just take them places - expose them to the many arts, to dining out, to your cities attractions and activities. Our children learned at a very young age how to act in each of these various venues. How many times have we all heard parents say they cant take their children anywhere as they always misbehave? How any times have we witnessed this? Yet if parents never take their children anywhere, how will they ever learn how to act in public?
These experiences are each a treasured pieces of the fabric that bind us as a family. Each adventure has generated numerous discussions......
for instance a certain combination dancing and musical act, none of us really wild about it, yet all could appreciate the “art” aspect of it and that art is subjective, right? After all, that’s what makes it art, right?
So turn off the electronics and explore all this world has to offer.....and enjoy!