Excuses

“They don’t want to be with us, they would much rather be with their friends.”
How many times have we all heard this? Yes, sometimes of course it is true. And being with friends is important no doubt there.
But other times i believe it is an excuse.
This statement lets parents off the hook......allows them to be self indulgent without the guilt. A justification for their own pursuits.
Yes, it takes time and energy to be a good parent. To create a family with bonds. And it is often the much easier to make the above statement. and walk away.
A friend once told me how whenever they went out to dinner as a family, her daughter and son would bicker away, then her husband would get involved and how it just wasn’t worth it to continue to try. So they didn’t.
Another told me the story of her neighbors who have never taken their kids on one of their countless vacations. Much easier not to they tell her.
Many of these same people then try to compensate by buying their kids “things.” Do they really think that things make up for not being together?
It takes time to build a family.
The foundation takes love and care and sometimes tears yet yields so much joy.
And it grows from its foundation, until a special bond is forged - a safety net - made up of people who love you unconditionally and who have the same experiences as you. Experiences that only you uniquely have together. A special dynamic that is yours and carries you through when you have rough times. Take the “time.”
Take the time......
It is SO worth it!

Listen

It is priceless time. You are driving your son or daughter to an activity. You are captive, together in a small space. In the old days, before cell phones, you could either
A) talk
B) look out the window
C) sing
Few options. I remember driving my kids around.....great conversations took place. Sometimes it was me and the kids. Or sometimes just listening to the kids.
It is during one of these rides that i first learned my young daughter could sing, belting out a Toni Braxton song in the far back, hitting the intricate notes perfectly on key. Hearing things in the music i couldn’t begin to hear. Another time i learned about some major bullying going on and another of a certain boy my daughter had a crush on. Countless conversations, important information that I would have missed had i spent all of these drives gabbing on my cell phone. I tell my kids not to talk on the phone while driving. How can i not do the same if i expect them to?
Driving is serious business. You hear it said that in a way a car is a weapon. When we are driving, shouldn’t we be....hmmm.......driving? What makes us all think we can take our eyes off the road. All it takes is a split second and lives are forever changed. We all know the statistics, yet do it anyway. I myself am guilty - i have bluetooth, and while at least i have both hands on the wheel, there are still no guarantees.
And then there is texting....don’t even get me started. No, no and NEVER should a person text while driving.
But back to the point. Next time in the car with your kids, put your phone away. Have them put their phones away.
And just talk.