I wake up….a new school year begins just as it always has.
But this day is different……
It is my daughters last first day.
All her other first days flash through my sleep deprived mind. Her first first day, of preschool….I take their picture outside in our backyard. I watch as she so proudly walks away from me, with her shiny new pink backpack, holding hands with her big sister, climbing the staircase into the school building. They look back, smile and wave to me as I sit in my car, tears streaming down my face. My big little girl, on her first first day.
Fast forward to her first day of kindergarten. so proud now to be at the “big Kid” school. She again enters with her older sister holding her hand. So happy, so sweet so little. Yet bigger.
Many other firsts have followed. Yet these firsts, though difficult, are somehow okay as there are many more first days to come. Such a sweet security in that simple knowledge. The years fall into a beautiful routine. Lazy summers followed by what seemed to be endless first days.
I return to the present……gazing at my beautiful girl, now a senior in high school, so confident, still wearing pink all these years later, humoring me as I take a picture in the same spot outside in our backyard as I have on all of her previous first days. I ask if I can walk her down the driveway, holding her hand. She nods in quiet understanding. She gets in her car, and pulls away with a smile.
My little big girl…….on her last first day.
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Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The Dinner Table
My middle school aged son gets in the car at the end of the day. After a quick hello and update of the day’s happenings, the dialogue is always the same two exact questions, “What are we having for dinner?” followed immediately by, “Is everyone home tonight?” Simple questions at face value...... but really so much more.
Most nights, the answer is yes, we do sit down and eat as a family. In between sporting events, play practices, dance, singing, homework, work, meetings or whatever commitments keep us running in different directions, we eat together. And most nights my answer consists of a meal, both organic and yummy. His smile exhibits his approval. But we do our favorite carryout sometimes (CPK) , and other times dinner is just the very handy and always easy pasta and marinara sauce.
But what we all count on is that whether we have to eat early or late ....it doesn’t matter. We consistently sit down TOGETHER and the outside world is put at bay at least for this brief moment . I dim the lights, light candles, in the winter the fire makes us feel cozy and in the warmer months the huge windows that surround us are opened and fresh air breezes through the room. No electronics allowed with the exception of soft, smooth jazz music that we have playing most evenings. Why not make it feel special with these easy touches?
Our nightly ritual is everyone sharing their HIGH/Low of the day. Everyone has a voice, we feel connected....... feeding our bodies as well as our minds. My children cherish the safety of this ritual as much as i do.
Sunday night, which seems to now be our least busy night, has turned into CookingNight, a tradition we have all come to treasure. We choose several amazing meals from Cooking Light Magazine, which i also call my bible. The recipes are delicious AND healthy. When the kids were small, my husband and i did most of the work..... the recipe selection, the prep, the cooking. But as the kids have grown, so have the tasks they take on. But even small people can grate parmesan cheese or frost a cupcake. Now, there is really no task they cannot do. However, perhaps most importantly, they have all learned the beauty of taking fresh ingredients and creating and savoring an incredible meal from scratch. The amount of prep and work involved in this endeavor make the meal that much more special. AND there is nothing more satisfying then when we all sit down to “our” meal. And our comment is (almost) aways the same - our meals are outstanding - restaurant quality and sometimes better. On our Cooking Nights , we have finally gotten smart, and now prep meals for at least three nights for when the craziness of the week once again begins. Usually we trade off who picks the meals, and that designated person is in charge of assigning tasks to everyone. Sometimes this is not always smooth, but that too is part of the experience. And it is so much fun to watch how the kids are not intimidated by any recipe.
Research shows the family meal is a lost art. Families are too over scheduled with activities and running in too many directions. Fast food is often the norm, eaten much of the time on the go. And even when families are home, they eat in front of the TV or off on their own. Research also shows, that those kids who DO sit down to family dinners are less likely to abuse alcohol and drugs.
Now why do you think that is?
Perhaps sit down at The Dinner Table, sideline the electronics, talk with your kids, and see what happens. It won’t always be smooth, and bad moods sometimes override good intentions. But plow through it. It’s so worth it ........It is perfect in it’s imperfection.....The Dinner Table.
Most nights, the answer is yes, we do sit down and eat as a family. In between sporting events, play practices, dance, singing, homework, work, meetings or whatever commitments keep us running in different directions, we eat together. And most nights my answer consists of a meal, both organic and yummy. His smile exhibits his approval. But we do our favorite carryout sometimes (CPK) , and other times dinner is just the very handy and always easy pasta and marinara sauce.
But what we all count on is that whether we have to eat early or late ....it doesn’t matter. We consistently sit down TOGETHER and the outside world is put at bay at least for this brief moment . I dim the lights, light candles, in the winter the fire makes us feel cozy and in the warmer months the huge windows that surround us are opened and fresh air breezes through the room. No electronics allowed with the exception of soft, smooth jazz music that we have playing most evenings. Why not make it feel special with these easy touches?
Our nightly ritual is everyone sharing their HIGH/Low of the day. Everyone has a voice, we feel connected....... feeding our bodies as well as our minds. My children cherish the safety of this ritual as much as i do.
Sunday night, which seems to now be our least busy night, has turned into CookingNight, a tradition we have all come to treasure. We choose several amazing meals from Cooking Light Magazine, which i also call my bible. The recipes are delicious AND healthy. When the kids were small, my husband and i did most of the work..... the recipe selection, the prep, the cooking. But as the kids have grown, so have the tasks they take on. But even small people can grate parmesan cheese or frost a cupcake. Now, there is really no task they cannot do. However, perhaps most importantly, they have all learned the beauty of taking fresh ingredients and creating and savoring an incredible meal from scratch. The amount of prep and work involved in this endeavor make the meal that much more special. AND there is nothing more satisfying then when we all sit down to “our” meal. And our comment is (almost) aways the same - our meals are outstanding - restaurant quality and sometimes better. On our Cooking Nights , we have finally gotten smart, and now prep meals for at least three nights for when the craziness of the week once again begins. Usually we trade off who picks the meals, and that designated person is in charge of assigning tasks to everyone. Sometimes this is not always smooth, but that too is part of the experience. And it is so much fun to watch how the kids are not intimidated by any recipe.
Research shows the family meal is a lost art. Families are too over scheduled with activities and running in too many directions. Fast food is often the norm, eaten much of the time on the go. And even when families are home, they eat in front of the TV or off on their own. Research also shows, that those kids who DO sit down to family dinners are less likely to abuse alcohol and drugs.
Now why do you think that is?
Perhaps sit down at The Dinner Table, sideline the electronics, talk with your kids, and see what happens. It won’t always be smooth, and bad moods sometimes override good intentions. But plow through it. It’s so worth it ........It is perfect in it’s imperfection.....The Dinner Table.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Together
We went to a concert yesterday on a snowy Sunday afternoon - Idina Menzel singing with our symphony. And by “we” i mean my husband and our teenage children. And “we” do things like this frequently. The concert was amazing and experiencing it together, made it even more so..... as it always does. We have always taken our kids with us, to experience various art forms, from the time they were very little. And even when we have not necessarily loved what we have seen, the discussions after about art being subjective etc are priceless.
As we exited the concert, we ran into one of my dear friends. She was with another friend. She looked at us and said how wonderful it was that we all went together as a family. She has said this to us before. I remember one time in particular when we were out taking a walk as a family, something we do VERY often and always have. Again, the surprised look with the same remark - we were an oddity.
I recall a Saturday, when we were out running errands as a family. We do that often, when things are hectic and yet we need some together time. So we are productive AND together. It makes the mundane tasks a lot more fun. On this one day, we ran into a friend, who also has 3 children. She was by herself, and looking quite shocked, commented on how she couldn’t believe “we“ were all together running errands, as a family. The comment was made, the astonishment noted, not intentional or mean spirited. Again, we were clearly perceived as an oddity.
I have to ask, when did the family unit become an oddity?? We have always taken our kids as much as possible, both in town and when we travel. We are bound together by these shared experiences, our relationships are strong. My children genuinely like each other and cherish each other. They are comfortable in their own skin and know that home is a safe place if they need time away from the business of the outside world. Are they and we with our friends as well? Of course! And that too is cherished time.
But we do still have family time, and make it a priority, even as they have grown older and time together is more of a commodity.
Having kids is a responsibility we take seriously. It is our job to expose them to all this great big world has to offer. And I want to be the one to expose them!
As they spread their wings, it is awesome to watch how these seeds we have planted, have sprouted and grown. I feel humbled and so incredibly grateful.
Yet as they make their way out in the world, these ties have bound us and we all know we are still a family unit,......even thought the ”we“ time is less frequent, it still exists..
What a gift for all of us!
As we exited the concert, we ran into one of my dear friends. She was with another friend. She looked at us and said how wonderful it was that we all went together as a family. She has said this to us before. I remember one time in particular when we were out taking a walk as a family, something we do VERY often and always have. Again, the surprised look with the same remark - we were an oddity.
I recall a Saturday, when we were out running errands as a family. We do that often, when things are hectic and yet we need some together time. So we are productive AND together. It makes the mundane tasks a lot more fun. On this one day, we ran into a friend, who also has 3 children. She was by herself, and looking quite shocked, commented on how she couldn’t believe “we“ were all together running errands, as a family. The comment was made, the astonishment noted, not intentional or mean spirited. Again, we were clearly perceived as an oddity.
I have to ask, when did the family unit become an oddity?? We have always taken our kids as much as possible, both in town and when we travel. We are bound together by these shared experiences, our relationships are strong. My children genuinely like each other and cherish each other. They are comfortable in their own skin and know that home is a safe place if they need time away from the business of the outside world. Are they and we with our friends as well? Of course! And that too is cherished time.
But we do still have family time, and make it a priority, even as they have grown older and time together is more of a commodity.
Having kids is a responsibility we take seriously. It is our job to expose them to all this great big world has to offer. And I want to be the one to expose them!
As they spread their wings, it is awesome to watch how these seeds we have planted, have sprouted and grown. I feel humbled and so incredibly grateful.
Yet as they make their way out in the world, these ties have bound us and we all know we are still a family unit,......even thought the ”we“ time is less frequent, it still exists..
What a gift for all of us!
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